You can probably identify with this relationship timeline:
Don’t worry – you’re not alone! Every guy feels this stale feeling at some point. It’s often when a lot of couples break up
How do we make long term relationships and marriage less stale and get more of the first feelings back? Lets look under the bonnet at what our brains are doing!
When we do things ours brains automatically respond in some way:
From releasing hormones to activating neurotoxins it discourages and rewards what you do
When you first start dating, and particularly when you start having sex, your body drops a payload of dopamine, phenylephrine, and norepinephrine into your system. The nearest equivalent is something like running a line of cocaine while hanging off the end of a cliff with no safety gear
Although this would be a truckload of fun if things stayed this way we’d never get anything else done… ever!
To solve this problem your brain releases a lot of these chemicals with new experiences and less for pre-existing ones. It’s because of this that we love trying out new adventures in life. It’s also why relationships feel old after a while
The novelty high is also a major contributor for why guys ditch the love of their life for the young blond and mortgage the house to by that car
It’s just brain chemistry – pure and simple!
The great news is these feelings don’t keep dwindling until they reach 0% – rather they’re always there just to a lower level
You just need to find ways to stimulate those same brain areas again in both of you! It takes time but the marriage boredom does go away!
We want to trigger the 3 chemicals mentioned before which makes us feel those first love feelings again. The easiest way to do this is Novelty
Novelty was there on your first date. Novelty was there the first time in the bedroom. Novelty was everywhere! You need to put the hard yards in to bring Novelty back for the long term!
There’s no golden rule for how often it has to be but planning ahead gives you a helpful punch in the face if you don’t actually do it!
Everyone and everything is bound by time so set aside a little on a regular basis to do something new
It doesn’t have to be expensive – just new
Here’s how you can do this:
Men have been conquering stuff since the beginning of time. Novelty is just a frontier we keep forgetting about because it sneaks up on us and stabs our relationship in the back
The good news is you’re not alone! Almost every man who’s ever walked this here earth has faced the same challenge! So, rather than flying solo, be smart and flog ideas from from someone else!
Watching the 300 movie, getting all pumped up and telling yourself I’m going to do an epic date each week really isn’t going to work. Even Leonidas would struggle with this
Instead be smart about and aim to start small and do one date a month. This is totally doable!
A Date Stash is all the stuff you need to bust out a fun date night with minimal effort! It comes from the idea of batching effort
For example if you’re going to the store to buy a bottle of wine for a picnic buy 3 more and put the spare in the Date Stash. The next time you need to organize a date and want a bottle it looks as though you made a special trip to the store!
The Date Stash makes arranging dates so much faster!
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